Closing my doors has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I have always found a way to keep pushing, for the sake of my team, my clients, and myself. This has been the first time I haven’t been able to do that. It’s not up to me this time.
But I keep reminding myself that this is for something bigger. Our health and safety have to be the priority, always.
During this hard time, we are forced to look inward. I am choosing to take advantage of it, and try to understand a better way for balance in hope, that when this is all over, things will be better but different.
Maybe the world has been so out of balance for so long, it’s time things be corrected.
I have to admit that I am a limit pusher. There have been times I’ve run myself down for the sake of another job, project or goal. I’ve skipped lunch more times than I can count, and stopped noticing when it’s time to pee, years ago.
So when I say this has been a strange blessing, you may be able to see why.
I have felt more times than not, that I am on a train I can’t get off of, and secretly wanting just for a moment, it all to stop. So here it is. Everything has stopped. I got what I asked for. I mean of course I didn’t ask for this, but there was some part of me that thought that this was it.
I kept looking at my current state of stress, wondering how I can create better balance, and I never could quite get it right.
Change is upon us if we choose to take advantage of it. I am taking this time to be with my kids, husband and self. I am taking time to sharped skills required using a computer~ which I will say is not my wheelhouse.
Still with all this time my heart is heavy. I am sad to not be able to care for my longtime guests, and offer more support as we all wait at home. I hate feeling like there is no control or timeline attached to this pandemic.
I am a people person and not being around people has been harder than I thought. After all I work a social job, and this time has also allowed me to look at all the things I am grateful for.
I am hopeful that this will end soon, and can’t wait to get back to work along side my team, clients and friends. In the mean time, stay healthy and sane.